In the future we'll all be gay
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
