So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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