Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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