If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I pour the whiskey from now on
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
