Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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