I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
