be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
