Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She even gives head with a lisp.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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