Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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