marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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