Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
