I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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