I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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