The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
