Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
