I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
