Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Life is so much better after having sex.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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