if only i could text you this smell
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
