love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
