I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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