I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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