Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
