Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
