from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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