so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you traded sex for a burrito?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
