Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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