I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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