How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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