So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
