i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
there is puke in my bra ... again
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
