if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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