Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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