haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
