You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Text me some of your sweat
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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