She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
