what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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