Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
