how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
