you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
