i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
