i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
