That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
