u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
