would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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