I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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