No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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