So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Why can't burritos get me drunk
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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