No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We have started to decorate penises.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
