Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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