plz talk dirty to me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
