he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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