he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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